What You Need to Know When Helping Your Parents Downsize

There is nothing quite like the bond you have with your family members, especially your parents. For many people, these connections are lasting and unbreakable. These are the people who taught you, comforted and encouraged you, created years of fond memories, and even showed “tough love” when it mattered most. 

The person you are today is essentially thanks to them. Now, things have changed. The time has come for your parents to transition to a smaller home that’s easier to manage and maintain, and it’s your turn to be the supportive one.

Downsizing and Family Dynamics

Downsizing may not be simple, but at least there is a step-by-step process to it. But nothing is simple or straightforward about family dynamics. Even with a close relationship, tensions can run high when selling the family home. Letting go of all those precious memories is painful and stressful. 

If your parents are ready for the change, there are still challenges to face, like choosing a real estate agent and getting to know the market. What if your parents aren’t ready? In that case, you really have your work cut out for you. Either way, you can’t force them to do anything they don’t want to, but there are ways to help ease them into the process.

Looking for a little more support when selling a family home to downsize? The following resources might be the boost you need:

• Why Work with an SRES® Agent as a Senior?
• A Practical Guide To Downsizing
• The Many Benefits of Done-For-You Downsizing

Are Your Parents Ready and Willing to Downsize?

As real estate agents who work with many seniors and downsizing clients, we have seen it all. The emotions can range from quiet acceptance and joyful anticipation to full-on sobbing and heartbreak. Beginning the conversation as early as possible can make the idea less painful. It also allows you to gauge whether your parents are ready to move on or are fiercely resistant to the notion.

If they are receptive, then it becomes about the process; cleaning, decluttering and preparing the home, and beginning the search for a new place. However, even if your parents are looking forward to this next step in life, the whole process can seem overwhelming. During this time, often the best thing to do is to be a shoulder to cry on and to encourage them to take things one step at a time. If you engage a full-service real estate team, all of the practical work is done for you, which can take much of the stress out of the transition.

Dealing With Reluctance

Over the years, your parents may have made many comments like “The only way I’m leaving is in a pine box or kicking and screaming.” It can be hard to hear, but at least you know you came by your own stubborn streak honestly!

On the one hand, this reluctance is understandable. This is their home, and they have many years of memories and attachment to it. On the other hand, a large property can be cumbersome to take care of, and you know in your heart of hearts they will be happier in something more manageable. 

Still, the last thing you want is for them to feel coerced into something they’re not ready for. Unless circumstances are dire and you need to take immediate action, it’s best to approach the topic gently rather than drop a bombshell.

Remember that empathy is imperative. If you look into the heart of their resistance, you may discover that it goes far beyond the surface. It’s not just that they hate the idea of giving up the family home; it’s what that step symbolizes.

Understand Where the Hesitation Is Coming From

None of us is getting younger, but talking about downsizing when your parents are not yet ready can make them feel old before their time. You can help by approaching the situation delicately and by viewing each aspect of moving on through a positive lens. For example:

• It’s not that they “can’t” take care of their current home, but imagine the freedom and joy that comes with a property with less maintenance!
• It’s not that they “need” extra support with their day-to-day life, but imagine living in a friendly community where there’s always someone around for a coffee or a quick chat.
• Best of all, think of the extra money they may have to finally afford the little luxuries that were always out of reach. There are new hobbies to pursue, and new destinations to discover!

If you’ve tried everything you can think of, but your parents remain stubbornly resistant, take heart. Perhaps you can consider one of the viable alternatives to downsizing, such as aging in place or constructing an in-law suite within the family home.

Everyone is an individual, and no single solution works for every situation. Sometimes, you might have to think a little outside the box to find the right path for you and your parents.

A successful sale is one of the keys to a smooth downsizing experience. The following resources will help make sure no stone is left unturned to get the best possible results:

• Why List Your Home in a Low-Inventory Market?
• What Is Home Staging? 
• What to Look For in a Real Estate Agent When Selling Your Home

The Legalities of Selling Your Parent’s Home

Your parents may be ready for the change, but another issue arises. They don’t want to deal with it, and prefer you to take care of everything. In that case, there are some legal matters to be aware of. 

This probably comes as no surprise, but you can’t just sell someone else’s property when your name isn’t on the deed. For that, you need them to assign you a POA (Power of Attorney.)  

Want to know more about the legalities of selling a house isn’t yours? Check out our post “What Is the Difference Between a Power of Attorney and Executor?“

Preparing for Your Next Steps

Once you tackle the emotional aspect of downsizing your parent’s home, you can all breathe a sigh of relief. The hard part is over. Now it’s time to take care of the practical details. It starts with getting the house ready to show off to prospective buyers.

After living in a family home for many years, you stop noticing details like nail holes on the wall, chipping paint, and outdated lighting fixtures. In fact, for your parents, these things are what gives their home its character. Every scuff and imperfection represents a memory, and who would want to change it?

But it’s time to look at the house with fresh eyes and see it from a buyer’s perspective. And the cold hard truth is that they aren’t interested in your memories. They want a blank slate to create their own. 

And that’s where thorough cleaning, decluttering, and de-personalizing your house comes in. When selling your home, it’s no longer about you. It’s time to do everything in your power to appeal to the people most likely to buy.

The more prospective buyers see themselves in your home, the more offers you are likely to generate. With a successful sale to empower the next step, your parents just may feel excited to begin exploring their new options!

Do you have questions about downsizing or are ready to begin the process? Ask us anything! We are happy to guide you through from start to finish. Reach out today at contact@thompsonsells.com or give us a call at 416-450-5900 for more information.